The Vatican recently announced new cremation guidelines for Catholics. According to the newly released cremation requirements guidelines, Catholics may be cremated, but should not have their ashes kept in urns in loved ones’ homes or scattered over large bodies of water.
At the Philadelphia Cremation Society, we see the friends and family of those who are recently deceased at their most vulnerable. The grief of the loss, paired with the need to plan a memorial befitting the live that was lived, can be difficult and painful to navigate. Too many people incorrectly correlate the amount that they will spend on the memorial, cremation, and service for their loved one as an expression of the love they have for them. Too many remark, as they spend more than perhaps they are able, that it is the best last thing they will be able to do for the one they love. This is just a fact of grief.
To be clear, there is no amount of money that will ever equal the love, fondness, and admiration you hold for your loved one. They knew this in life. This is why the Philadelphia Cremation Society places more importance on crafting the memorial, cremation, and service that speaks to the life and personality of your loved one rather than presenting perhaps unnecessary and expensive add-on items and services that won’t accurately represent who your loved one was.
The advance of technology seems to be moving faster than a speeding bullet and more powerfully than a locomotive. There is much about each successive technological leap that helps to improve our overall quality of life.
The paper calendar gave way to handheld pocket calendars which preceded today’s multi-platform online calendar that can be updated automatically across several devices. The convenience enjoyed as a result of this example hardly even qualifies as one of the greater improvements we’ve been granted by the evolution of innovation.
Now, apparently, technology has advanced yet again, this time offering us comfort during what is arguably one of the most difficult and stressful life events we could ever experience. The loss of a loved one is never easy. Seeking to provide solace to those in grief, Arlington, Vermont-based Cremation Solutions found the intersection of touching memorial and technology in their 3-D printed custom designed urns.
The Delaware River and the ocean it runs to have been the life blood of the city of Brotherly Love. It should come as no surprise, then, that so many Philadelphians find comfort in selecting a scattering service into the great river and the Atlantic Ocean beyond.
But an interesting story has recently come to light out of that city to the north, from the borough of Brooklyn. It is there that two octogenarian twin brothers have decided a simple scattering service is not what will suit them when it is time to shuffle off this mortal coil.
If you are a frequent visitor to our blog, you know that we place a special importance on educating Philadelphians about the process of cremation and how it has become the choice of the majority of those preplanning their own end-of-life arrangements. While we are proud of the information we provide on our blog, we also want to highlight community events that serve to offer further insight into one of the most important decisions we can make in our lives.
On Tuesday of this week, there will be two events held at the Parsippany Main Public Library. The first of the two events is entitled “In Dying Order: Exploring Burial, Cremation, Funerals, and Other Options.” Leading the discussion for those in attendance will be a local funeral director who will frankly discuss the issues surrounding the formulation of our end-of-life planning. Attendees are urged to preregister for the event by calling (973) 887-5150, ext 209 or by signing up at www.parsippanylibrary.org.
You may or may not have heard of the curious instance of the cremated remains that were recently discovered in an open lot in the 2600 block of Oakdale Street in North Philadelphia’s Strawberry Mansion area. The mystery was never centered on the identity of the person within the receptacle. The box provided the name of the individual, Linda Upshur. The mystery was how the ashes found themselves in an open lot as well as to whom the receptacle should be returned.
Along with providing the identity of the person contained in the receptacle, the box also had printed the date of death, date of cremation, and the location of the cremation, Ivy Hill Cemetery and Crematory. This allowed enterprising journalists the ability to begin the search for finding the rightful home and resting place for Ms. Upshur. Unfortunately, representatives from Ivy Hill stated their records showed Ms. Upshur’s cremated remains were released to a funeral home shortly after the cremation, and that funeral home provided no leads in solving the mystery.
Of the many benefits of cremation, one of the most notable is the romantic notion of scattering the ashes. Many people begin to plan their memorial services in their head early on and imagine having a loved one scatter their ashes across their favorite landscape, on top of a mountain, or even cast at sea. Poetic as this gesture may be, a new survey from California and Washington funeral providers shows that more people are choosing to keep their ashes in the home. According to the survey, one in five people are storing ashes in their home. More often than not, these family members are storing the ashes of their parents in their house. A smaller percentage of people choose to keep the ashes of their spouse in the home. It’s an interesting divide that points to different preferences we have when it comes to memorializing some of the people closest to us.
Of all those who keep ashes in their homes, 54 percent said they kept the ashes of their parents. When asked, they said they wanted to keep the memories of their parents close to home. Though many choose to keep the ashes in an urn and stored in a place of honor in the house, many turn their backyards into private memorials.
The topic of death is often difficult or plain uncomfortable to discuss, but for many it remains a point of interest and curiosity. There are others who view death as simply another part of life and therefore a topic to be discussed with frankness and honesty. Caitlin Doughty is one such person, and she has made it her life’s work to make it easier for those unsettled by death to ask questions and talk about the end. It’s a good thing Doughty isn’t shy about death. As a 30-year old mortician, she isn’t just answering questions of the curious; she’s already written and published her memoirs, detailing her life as a young person with a serious interest in death, cemeteries, and the like. It’s also in her memoirs that she refers to cremation as “the American way of death” as she points out the many options offered to any who choose cremation.
As a licensed mortician, Doughty has noted the chasm between those who refuse to discuss death and those who are genuinely curious and interested by it. She wanted to bridge this gap between the two and allow those made nervous by the topic to ask some of their most burning questions, and she does so in a very public way. In her YouTube series entitled “Ask A Mortician,” Doughty tackles topics including what happens to hip, knee, and breast implants, if dead bodies are dangerous, and “Are Those My Mother’s Ashes?” In each video Doughty answers these questions and more with candor and compassion, accepting and even encouraging the curious. Of all the topics she discusses, there is one which is particularly close to her heart. In a series of interviews given for the release of her memoirs, Doughty spoke passionately about the rights families have when it comes to their deceased loved ones.